It is but a natural human desire to have kids, yet in today�s world and time , we may ask ourselves , are we ready and capable of taking care of a new dependent life and do we know how to help a child to grow and enjoy this beautiful gift of life ? 

With families going from an extended structure to nuclear and younger generation moving away from the shadow of the older one, we sometimes are at a loss where to begin. From holding a newborn to educating a dependent young baby to a self-sufficient young adult is quite a challenge. The young parent�s also aspire to flourish in their careers and fulfill the basic human instinct to procreate. 

We first need to begin with an understanding of our own life. We need to be sensitive towards ourselves and help our children to develop physically, emotionally and spiritually not in an environment of stress but rather in an environment of freedom and choice. 

We are rather focused on educating them as soon as possible. We want our children to identify with their environment quickly and we consider them to be smart only if they start speaking quickly and learn to obey our instructions, and are socially adept. Recently it has been discovered by scientific research that children need to develop emotionally as well. 

Our brain is divided into two major parts which function in two different directions. The right brain is responsible for language, creativity, kinesthetic sense, intuition, etc while the left brain is the scientific, mathematical, social, development etc. In fact the human brain is a division of four parts. There is a top and bottom too and it is intricately, delicicatly, harmoniously, artistically linked.

In the first part of our lives (that means the first three years) it is true that the brain has the capacity to learn the maximum. It is also the time of life when the child is still connected to the natural rhythm of life. When we superimpose our education of cognition of right brain we divert the natural processes of life growth. 

For example the milestones of the growth of the child are not in our hands. We do not teach the child when to roll, walk, how to sit, stand, walk etc. Yet we are pleased when the child is reciting the ads on t.v. or the alphabet by the time he is two. We are rather worried if the child is unable to do so and try our best to correct this. Upon observing the child one will notice the child is least interested to know the name of the food in front of him rather he enjoys the taste. He explores through touch himself and textures around amongst other things. He�s more interested to dab in the color than know that its red or blue. 

Another aspect of emotional intelligence on a day to day basis is interpersonal or self- awareness. Without this common sense ,we will make poor choices in practical life about what job to take, what interests me to do as a career , what kind of music to play, what sports involve and create interest for my time ,and later, who to marry etc. This education of self-awareness should begin at home with parents and later in school. 

A more balanced growth would be for the child to discover in his own unique wordless way this world before we name it for him for their understanding is much more clear. They are intelligent enough if left alone to figure out how to be in their given environment rather than the mom�s/ caregivers and wellwisher�s fretting over them. This by no way am I suggesting that the mother is not responsible to look after the well being of the child; just that the child doesn�t need to be given to many don�ts . 

This usually stops the intelligence of the child when superimposed with too many instructions. We can help direct the child with our experience not dictate them. We can encourage the child to explore, and rediscover with them instead of giving them our preconceived ideas. As we grow older our experiences make us cautious due to harm felt and we become slow to learn and receive life: however a child is still more connected to the natural rhythm and has no memories to fall back on. 

Research has shown a few common mistakes made by parents. Instilling fear in a child inhibits the progress of the child. He tends to have a low self-esteem and is prone to be always dependent on other�s opinions and appreciation. Another common harmful practice is reward and punishment, and instilling guilt. 

Rewarding a child to show appreciation because a child behaves in the way we want and withdrawing love also teaches the child that love is conditional and therefore the world we are living in is conditional. Trust in life is the biggest gift we can give to our children while guilt is the single most harmful emotion a child learns and feels. It makes him self condemning and depressed and in extreme cases suicidal. Rewards advocate and encourage greed while punishment promotes fear and sometimes rebellion. 

A more balanced education would focus on different aspects of growth for the child at different crossroads of life. Always focusing on the health (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual) skills, creativity and science. It is indeed a privilege to be able to create life and a commitment to help movement of life in a more balanced and natural direction and to share with our children our beautiful life experience. It is true one cannot control the flow of life however one can participate more intelligently in the play of life.

Source - Mystic India