This is in continuation to the previous articles:
COMMUNICATE WITH CARE (Part-I)andCOMMUNICATE WITH CARE (Part-II),COMMUNICATE WITH CARE (Part-III)

The only way to break the wall is to first become conscious of its existence and then dismantle it. Brick by brick. Of course, it would be faster if you could reveal the number of the combination lock that you installed in the first place. I know this is not easy. But you have to make this decision to open yourself to love. You are going to communicate, you are going to listen, you are going to express yourself, in whichever form is best for you. If necessary, you may even have to take the risk of getting hurt. Taking this risk is essential if you want to experience love and become one with your partner. If you do take this risk and are hurt in the process, believe that when you heal, you will become stronger in all the broken places. So have the courage to communicate fully.

No matter how much you communicate and how strong your relationship is, conflicts are bound to happen. But dont take this to mean that there is something wrong with your relationship. Arguing is also a form of communication. Indeed. I consider it to be both natural and healthy. It is a good outlet for varying emotions. Most couples argue about domestic issues and responsibilities. Alternatively, for a man it could be that he thinks his partner overreacts on certain issues or he could be feeling neglected or even rejected. For a woman, lack of support could put her in an argumentative mood.  Sometimes, these arguments can lead to major fights. But the underlying reason for such arguments is that neither person feels loved. They feel threatened. And when a human being gets into that frame of mind. He or she finds it hard, in turn, to love. That is why you must learn to face a conflict rather than run away from it, especially if you are working towards building a positive relationship.

The bottom line is that if you are feeling loved and cherished, the argument will be just that an Argument. It will not flare up or be misunderstood. And, like all healthy arguments. It should ideally lead to a peaceful resolving of matters. So argue constructively. Turn it into a positive exercise. It will help you reach out and communicate better.

Always remember that there are some basic steps that you can follow in order to communicate effectively. These include speaking from your heart; choosing the right time and place; knowing what you want to communicate; being clear in getting your message across; and asking for clarification wherever required. Work towards satisfactory completion of the entire communication process. Do not leave it halfway. Closure is important.

So speak straight. Let your feelings show, be honest to yourself, your partner and to the relationship. Points to Ponder and Practice

1 - The soil in the garden of your heart will nurture the seeds that you plant there. Ensure that you plant the seeds of trust and not those of fear, those of love and not those of resentment.

2 - You can never judge what is good or bad in a relationship. Even the loss or betrayal of a partner can, On occasion, bring growth and an awakening, or realization, to the other person.

3 - The ancient scriptures tell us: Anger will never cease by more anger, hatred by more hatred. Only By love can hate and anger be healed. You should remember and practice this consciously in your relationship.

4 - Never forget that the past does not dictate the future unless you allow it. This also applies to your relationship.

5 - When in a relationship, it is essential to constantly keep letting go to be able to move forward Smoothly.

6 - As you live your life in your relationship, do not carry the yesterday into the today and the today into the tomorrow. Just be wherever you are in the moment.

7 - Forgiveness and letting go are first and foremost for your own sake, not for your partners. You let go so that you may no longer carry the burden of resentment within you.

8 - Deep down. At the most innocent and pure part of your being, you want to be loved, understood and appreciated. This is also true of your partner.

9 - Forgiving your partner for all the hurt and pain caused. And for all the anger and resentment felt, is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself.

10 - If you have love in your life, you need little else. Without love, all the comforts and all the pleasures that life has to offer will not be enough.